Episode #1 - Why I`m breaking up with social media

Hello There! How are you? Most importantly – are you happy?

No one ever asks this anymore. I wonder why? Are we scared to know the real answer? Are we scared to be honest to others and ourselves?

You probably wander what’s this blog about and whats the deal here. Well the real deal is that I want to write about the modern life without social media. As simple as that.

AND YES - you read it right.

Im Liv and on 25th February 2020 I decided to quit social media, specifically - Instagram, Twitter and Facebook. I have kept my YouTube and Pinterest accounts because they aren’t about ME getting likes. They are learning tools.

At the time Im writing this article the average user spends 2 hours and 33 minutes per day on social media. And that is an alarming number. Don’t you think?

Let’s do a quick calculation if you still don’t believe me. 2 hours and 33 minutes per day over the period of 7 days = 16 hours and 31 minute per week! That’s a whole extra day! I don’t know about you, but to me this number is shocking.

Yes, I didn’t believe I spend this much time online either. But then I did “activity audit”. For 2 weeks I wrote down every single thing I do and how much time I spent. I was brutally honest. Honesty is the best policy here. And you have to be honest with yourself if you want to make a change. So that’s what I did for the next two weeks. From commute and cooking, to procrastinating and social media. The results were shocking. The truth is – the time wasted on this was not the deciding factor to me. It was what came with it – anxiety, negative self-talk and demotivation. I felt disconnected from myself, distracted by others and I was too focused on the actions and going-on of those around me.

Do you know that feeling?

People who enjoy using social media invest their life and time into it because not only they find it entertaining but they also belief to some extent that social media is fundamental for networking, building connections for personal and professional growth. And that’s so understandable. There are a lot of professions and businesses in the world that are dependent on social media attraction. From authors wanting to sell their books to restaurants and cafes promoting their latest instagramable food in hopes that would bring more customers through the doors.

And I was doing exactly that. I was getting free products from companies for an exchange of free review online. I was building my social network, my digital space with opinions, beliefs, values. Because how else people around us would know what we stand for, belief for unless we write a status update about it?

Whilst I don’t believe that social media is evil, I do have some personal issues with it which resulted in decision to quit the certain platforms - Instagram, Twitter and Facebook.

I spend years of my life trying to build the audience in hopes that I would build professional, employable portfolio. I connected with people all across the world and I built the relationships with different brands and organizations. But after 2 years of consistently posting and engaging I decided to quit these main social media platforms. I had enough. Don’t get me wrong – it was a difficult decision to make.

Most people are afraid to quit social media because it comes with the cost. Social media gives a voice to anyone who want to be heard. We are seen, heard, liked, followed. We have this social identity. We feel powerful.

It can be inspirational, fun and beneficial if it’s used in the right way by the right people. But I realized that I`m not the right person and I didn’t use it in the right way.

I was allowing social media to impact my life negatively. I used social media in a way that was self-sabotaging, incongruent and disempowering. I wasted far too much of my life and time trying to be inspirational online. And I spend hour scrolling through feeds of these “flawless and inspirational” influencers and I wanted to make people feel that way too.

I built my business on that feeling. I wanted to be inspirational and thought provoking. And I wanted to make people feel like those other influencers made me feel. And it made me far too long to realise that THOSE people online made me feel shit about myself and I don’t want to make other people feel shit about themselves. If I’m going to be totally honest here – I wasn’t trying to be inspirational for other people, I was trying to be inspirational just to feel significant like everyone else. My pursuit on inspiring others was nothing else than shallow pursuit of self-validation.

And what’s worse – the price I paid was my privacy, my feelings, my motivation and my sense of self. The emotional price we pay for being MORE on social media is huge. We sell our personal data, our emotions, our relationship, our body image, statuses, thoughts and beliefs. All your followers are looking at you and commenting on your thoughts, decisions, moves. Some are rooting for you, some are judging you, some will pick you apart, some will pick you up. Sometimes you need a very thick skin.

Social media is marketed as this “one size fits all” entertainment platform when in reality there is no such thing. Like not everyone enjoys reading books and not everyone enjoys watching movies, some people can’t stand musicals, others will happily live in a tent for a week. We are all different.

And I have met dozens of people who are successful without social media. And they manage to keep in contact with their closest family and friends without Facebook messenger. They have built businesses without large social media following and instagramable backdrops. And they have been inspired and motivated without spending two hours a days scrolling through Instagram.

Its not entirely social media fault that I feel the way I feel about it. My feelings and outcomes are entirely my responsibility. And it’s a mix between social media, other people engagement and my reaction to it. It might feel very one sided when you read this article, but it shouldn’t be. I love social media. I think it’s a great tool. It can open the doors to so many opportunities and worlds. But I believe it only works if its used the right way, by the right people. It turns out Im not in that state of mind at this point in my life.

Digital Minimalism is exactly what I need to embrace if I want to grow and become the best version of myself.

Digital Minimalism is all about reducing the noise and clutter in your life People normally understand decluttering – like removing the items from your life that doesn’t spark joy in order to increase that physical and mental space. Digital decluttering is very similar. And no, it’s not about phone storage space. Its more about emotional decluttering. Like examining how much time we spend online, how much energy we spend comparing, scrolling and how it all makes us feel, how we feel at the end of the day.

Are you happy? Content? Feeling good in your own life, your own skin? Do you want to disconnect?

The truth is - disconnecting myself and my personal life from online world felt liberating. Scary, but very liberating.

I know I will miss out on a lot of networking and business opportunities by quitting social media. But I never want to re-adopt my phone checking habit which I never realized I have until I quit social media. I don’t want to spend hours and hours negatively comparing my life to others. I realized that social media made me feel like shit. I have been constantly overwhelmed, comparing my life to that of others, and I have created a fantasy self that was so far from reality it makes me cringe.

Information what we consume on internet matters as much as the food we put in our body. It affects our thinking, behavior and well-being.

Social media to me is like too much gluten. I don’t tolerate social media really well. It takes too much time to digest. And it makes me feel a little bit sick. But just because it makes me feel that way doesn’t mean it will make everyone feel the same way. Will I miss out on some amazing stuff because I don’t tolerate social media well? Yeah, most likely. But will I still have amazing fulfilled life with other ingredients? Hell Yeah.

I hope you found this discussion interesting. Let me know down below what are your opinions on social media and how you manage your relationship with social media. If you considered quitting, if you have never quit and explain your “why” because obviously I do believe that there is healthy dynamic where people can use social media and live very happy lives. There is no way “one size fit all” solution. Would be interesting to hear your thoughts.

If you liked this article, please consider subscribing to this channel if you want to keep in touch.

But for now, I will be rediscovering the things I liked before social media and exploring myself inwards. I am redirecting my energy to things more aligned to my goals, values and interests. I will keep capturing this journey one article at a time.

Comparison is the thief of joy.

Theodore Roosevelt

Do what’s right for you.

Stay humble,

Liv.